my first erotic gospel readings

memoir

Aug 4

June 2025
Los Angeles, California

Three years later, I was back in LA. I was a bit scared to return after all the devastation that had occurred last time. But like any love affair, I was more excited than terrified. LA is my soul’s home, if you haven’t picked that up yet.

A week before the trip, I began writing poems for my upcoming book, The Gospel According to My Pussy. It occurred to me that I should perform these pieces at poetry readings while in California. I had never performed at a poetry reading in my life, let alone attended one.

The first reading took place at a bookstore in Culver City during a women’s open mic night. I read The Big Bang, which opens with the line: “the moment you came inside me, I gave birth to the universe.” I was so nervous, my hands were shaking. The good news is that the audience survived, and I met my first disciple, Jessica.

The second reading was in West Hollywood at one of LA’s longest-running poetry nights. I nearly backed out after discovering the talent level was through the roof. But I managed to psych myself up and got my butt up on stage. The audience ended up howling and cackling as I performed Hurricane Vagina.

The third reading was held in a sex dungeon in West Los Angeles called “Kink and Ink”, a poetry night for kinky people. I knew this was where my kind of animal hangs out. After the performance, strangers approached me to discuss their secret desires, unusual fixations, and impending Catholic guilt. The only thing missing was a clerical collar and confession booth. I was beginning to feel like a reverend, and this was starting to feel like my congregation.

What can I say? Los Angeles made me do it.