walking through hell in the city of angels
woodland hills, california
january 2023
during an extended stay in los angeles, i moved houses so often that i eventually stopped unpacking my suitcase.
i was running out of money, trying to figure out what came next, and dealing with the aftermath of several personal disasters. there were fractured relationships, business arrangements that had gone awry, and friendships that had gone sour. i was also carrying the weight of a connection that felt profoundly significant yet impossible to understand.
when everything came crashing down, i ended up staying with my tito in woodland hills. his family saved my life—i’m not sure what would have happened to me if they hadn’t taken me in.
Whatever happened to me during this period baffles me. i generally avoid chaos and destruction. I guess life has a way of surprising you; sometimes everything catches fire at once for reasons we don’t know.
this photo was taken on New Year’s Day. around this time, i had a psychic on speed dial. God only knows whether she helped me through the madness or contributed to it.
the situation was objectively terrible. none of the tools i spent years learning were working. no amount of meditation, yoga, crystals, or spiritual self-improvement relieved me.
it was the most frightening experience of my life. there is life before this event and life after it; it’s the dividing line of who i am.
but if there’s one event i wouldn’t take back, it’s this. because i walked through fire and survived, i was never the same again.
